Naturally, E.P.'s politics remained conservative. But he pitched the note higher. Even the ancestors weren't good enough. He invented a Portuguese Dukedom (some one of our family once worked in Portugal), and he conferred it, by some kind of reversion, on my elder brother Jim, who had gone to Winnipeg to work in E.P.'s office. This enabled him to say to visitors in his big house, after looking at the ancestors, in a half-whisper behind his hand, 'Strange to think that two deaths would make that boy a Portuguese Duke.' But Jim never knew which two Portuguese to kill.
-My Remarkable Uncle
Stephen Leacock
WHO IS GLENN GREENWALD? Why is he a traitor? Obviously he lives in Brazil, but Hemingway lived in Cuba so it can't be because Greenwald speaks Spanish. Wait a minute....don't they speak Portuguese in Brazil? There it is, the Portuguese Connection and the drug trade!
With low cunning, Greenwald didn't mention drugs but tried to divert attention from the War on Drugs and Portugal to the War on Terror, or in this case, the War on Anti-Terror. Is there a War on Portugal? Is there a Portuguese War on Anti-Terror? An Anti-Terror War on the Portuguese? He doesn't want citizens to notice that the free-market pharmaceutical industry is used as a cover for his attack on entrepreneurial American entrepreneurship that makes a zillion dollars from the war industries. There's nothing "defensive" about cluster bombs so let's call a spade a spade. Greenwald's on the wrong end of the AK-47, the best rifle for killing people invented over 60 years ago in the Soviet Union. Wait! Weren't they godless Communists determined to snuff out democracy and liberty? It's so complicated.
So what's with Greenwald and his obsessive opposition to government secrecy? It's impossible for us to fathom but he's gay. So's Bradley Manning. There's an important connection there, people. Gay people don't want to be secret: they want to live their lives openly and peacefully and free of stigma. That's why we need to subvert the American Constitution to produce a completely safe police state in which nobody has anything to fear if they don't do, say, or even think, anything bad. Being gay is probably bad. We'll let you know what "bad" is, but it's what "bad guys" do. If you don't know what a "bad guy" is, we'll tell you later, after you've done something bad, but don't expect a trial, or habeus corpus, or a jury, or hell, even the American Constitution. The Homeland is more important and, as Diane Feinstein implied, requires that the Constitution be set aside when the "good guys" think it's necessary.
We'll get back to you. You'll read it first in the Wall Street Journal unless somebody breaks your door down at dawn.
