Tuesday, October 30, 2012

The International Hockey League


This has nothing to do with Afghanistan...so far.

The Stanley Cup is not owned by the NHL. They have no rights to it except as conveyed by the Stanley Cup Trust. The trust might be in the pocket of the NHL, but this can be settled in court.

There is currently a lockout in the NHL, and the League seems to operate on the assumption that high quality hockey is only available from the NHL. Sure.

So here's my suggestion for a new International Hockey League, the winner of which is awarded the Stanley Cup. OK, it isn't really the Stanley Cup, it's the Dominion Challenge Cup, but as it has already been co-opted by the NHL, there is no reason it can't be awarded for an international league that extends beyond North America. Lord Stanley had a few choice words to say about professionalism, but in fact the 19th century ideal of sport as manly preparation for war has been overtaken by the fact that the highest standards of sport can only be achieved by full time preparation. So, hockey south of the Mason-Dixon Line is just stupid, a crass marketing scheme like Roller Derby. It might make sense to the NHL owners - a very dubious group for the most part - but it makes no sense to those of us who think hockey is a beautiful game, played right.

Here's my line-up for the new IHL:

European Division
St.Petersburg
Stockholm
Oslo
Helsinki
Berlin
Prague
Milan
Geneva
Lyon
Bratislava
Copenhagen
Vienna
Turin
Warsaw

North American Division
Montreal
Ottawa
Boston
New York
Chicago
Detroit
Vancouver
Calgary
Edmonton
Pittsburgh
Philadelphia
Minnesota
Toronto
Winnipeg

Then of course there is the possibility of an Asian Division, extending from Moscow through Kazakhstan to Irkutsk and Vladivostok, with Beijing and Mongolia obvious possibilities, and of course, Shanghai. Would you rather play hockey in Phoenix or Shanghai?

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Starbucks of Terror

MEMO

To:                All al-Qaeda franchises

From:            al-Qaeda Headquarters

Re:                The al-Qaeda experience

The following assumes that there is such a thing as al-Qaeda (as opposed to a bunch of hotheads with fertilizer, like Tim McVeigh), or if there was such a thing, if it was capable of, as the Australians say, organizing a chook raffle.  Or, al-Qaeda might be a mass of random angry people with access to explosives who want the geographicaly-challenged NATO to return to the North Atlantic.  Take your pick.
  1. Our organization has existed for over ten years, providing unequaled terror experiences.
  2. The al-Qaeda experience of 9/11 drew unprecedented attention to our brand.
  3. Following 9/11, there has been an exponential growth of al-Qaeda, with franchises established in Yemen, Sudan, the Arabian Peninsula, Libya, Mali, Iraq, Syria, and Saskatchewan.
  4. We were kidding about Saskatchewan.
  5. The health of our business model mandates a uniform experience when clients encounter our brand ("client/brand disposition matrix"), and quality control ("QC") is therefore crucial.
  6. The need to abbreviate quality control as QC is, well ...part of the whole franchise thing.
  7. Vital elements of our business plan include:  xenophobia (the target market is white, preferably Anglo-Saxon although French is acceptable); willingness to die for customer satisfaction; Semtex literacy; current driver's licence; and an almost  fanatical devotion to the Pope. 
  8. About the Pope....
  9. We are currently recruiting nuclear physicists, longshoremen, and merchant seamen.
  10. Fluency in Arabic, Farsi, Pashto, English, French, Russian, Mandarin, Hebrew, German, and Greek will be an asset.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Nuremberg disposition matrix





In our time, political speech and writing are largely the defense of the indefensible. Things like the continuance of British rule in India, the Russian purges and deportations, the dropping of the atom bombs on Japan, can indeed be defended, but only by arguments which are too brutal for most people to face, and which do not square with the professed aims of the political parties. Thus political language has to consist largely of euphemism, question-begging and sheer cloudy vagueness. Defenseless villages are bombarded from the air, the inhabitants driven out into the countryside, the cattle machine-gunned, the huts set on fire with incendiary bullets: this is called pacification. Millions of peasants are robbed of their farms and sent trudging along the roads with no more than they can carry: this is called transfer of population or rectification of frontiers. People are imprisoned for years without trial, or shot in the back of the neck or sent to die of scurvy in Arctic lumber camps: this is called elimination of unreliable elements. Such phraseology is needed if one wants to name things without calling up mental pictures of them.  
- George Orwell, Politics and the English Language


The PRESIDENT: In accordance with Article 27 of the Charter, the International Military Tribunal will now pronounce the sentences on the defendants convicted on this Indictment.
Defendant Hermann Wilhelm Goering, on the counts of the Indictment on which you have been convicted, the International Military Tribunal sentences you to death by hanging.
Defendant Rudolf Hess, on the counts of the Indictment on which you have been convicted, the Tribunal sentences you to imprisonment for life.
Defendant Joachim von Ribbentrop, on the counts of the Indictment on which you have been convicted, the Tribunal sentences you to death by hanging.
Defendant Wilhelm Keitel, on the counts of the Indictment on which you have been convicted, the Tribunal sentences you to death by hanging.
Defendant Ernst Kaltenbrunner, on the counts of the Indictment on which you have been convicted. the Tribunal sentences you to death by hanging.
Defendant Alfred Rosenberg, on the counts of the Indictment on which you have been convicted, the Tribunal sentences you to death by hanging.
Defendant Hans Frank, on the counts of the Indictment on which you have been convicted, the Tribunal sentences you to death by hanging.
Defendant Wilhelm Frick, on the counts of the Indictment on which you have been convicted, the Tribunal sentences you to death by hanging.
Defendant Julius Streicher, on the count of the Indictment on which you have been convicted, The Tribunal sentences you to death by hanging.
Defendant Walther Funk, on the counts of the Indictment on which you have been convicted, the Tribunal sentences You to imprisonment for life
Defendant Karl Doenitz, on the counts of the Indictment on which you have been convicted, the Tribunal sentences you to ten years imprisonment.
Defendant Erich Raeder, on the counts of the Indictment on which you have been convicted, the Tribunal sentences you to imprisonment for life.
Defendant Baldur von Schirach, on the counts of the Indictment on which you have been convicted, the Tribunal sentences you to twenty years imprisonment.
Defendant Fritz Sauckel, on the counts of the Indictment on which you have been convicted, the Tribunal sentences you to death by hanging.
Defendant Alfred Jodl, on the counts of the Indictment on which you have been convicted, the Tribunal sentences you to death by hanging.
Defendant Arthur Seyss-Inquart, on the counts of the Indictment on which you have been convicted, the Tribunal sentences you to death by hanging.
Defendant Albert Speer, on the counts of the Indictment on which you have been convicted, the Tribunal sentences you to twenty years imprisonment.
Defendant Konstantin von Neurath, on the counts of the Indictment on which you have been convicted, the Tribunal sentences you to fifteen years imprisonment.
The Tribunal sentences the Defendant Martin Bormann. on the counts of the Indictment on which he has been convicted, to death by hanging.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Holding Obama's balls to the fire...

Tom Tomorrow

The guy talks a good game and I have no doubt he means it.  The reality is he's subverting the American Constitution and trying to organize an American consensus government in which the consensus boils down to American Mythical insanity -  "the leader of the free world" - completely free of the international law it has signed, and determined to impose a Pax Americana on the world despite the fact that the entire American population is about 5% of the world's population, as opposed to the world's Muslim population which weighs in at about  17% of the world's population.

In the rule of law, there's no difference between Obama and Romney. The brutal truth is that neither is interested in the American Constitution.  Apparently, most American citizens are not interested in the Constitution either, they're interested in the myth.

Somebody should point that out in a Coors Light commercial.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

The new Paris negotiating table...

The old negotiations...















Vietnam War - Paris Peace Talks
 The four delegations sit at the table during the first signing ceremony of the agreement to end the Vietnam War at the Hotel Majestic in Paris, Jan. 27, 1973. Clockwise, from foreground, delegations of the Unites States, the Provisonal Revolutionary Government of South Vietnam, North Vietnam and South Vietnam. (AP Photo)

 The new negotiations...

Good night, and good luck.


Monday, October 1, 2012

Richard Nixon and Anders Fogh Rasmussen


Richard Nixon on Vietnam, November 3, 1969
The defense of freedom is everybody's business not just America's business. And it is particularly the responsibility of the people whose freedom is threatened. In the previous administration, we Americanized the war in Vietnam.
In this administration, we are Vietnamizing the search for peace. The policy of the previous administration not only resulted in our assuming the primary responsibility for fighting the war, but even more significantly did not adequately stress the goal of strengthening the South Vietnamese so that they could defend themselves when we left. The Vietnamization plan was launched following Secretary Laird's visit to Vietnam in March. 
Under the plan, I ordered first a substantial increase in the training and equipment of South Vietnamese forces.
 -After 5 years of Americans going into Vietnam, we are finally bringing men home. By December 15, over 60,000 men will have been withdrawn from South Vietnam including 20 percent of all of our combat forces.
-The South Vietnamese have continued to gain in strength. As a result they have been able to take over combat responsibilities from our American troops. Two other significant developments have occurred since this administration took office.
-Enemy infiltration, infiltration which is essential if they are to launch a major attack, over the last 3 months is less than 20 percent of what it was over the same period last year.
-Most important United States casualties have declined during the last 2 months to the lowest point in 3 years. 
Let me now turn to our program for the future. We have adopted a plan which we have worked out in cooperation with the South Vietnamese for the complete withdrawal of all U.S. combat ground forces, and their replacement by South Vietnamese forces on an orderly scheduled timetable. This withdrawal will be made from strength and not from weakness. As South Vietnamese forces become stronger, the rate of American withdrawal can become greater.



Anders Fogh Rasmussen on Afghanistan, October 1, 2012

"Political decisions will be taken based on his recommendations as to how we will adapt to the transfer of lead responsibility to the Afghans," he said. "The pace will very much depend on the security situation on the ground."

Rasmussen stressed that any accelerated rate of withdrawal should not be seen as "a race for the exits". The end of combat operations is to be followed from 2015 by a Nato-led training mission for the Afghan security forces, which will also require the continued deployment of fighting units or special forces, – "enablers" as they are called in military jargon.

"The core will be a training mission. Of course, we will have to ensure that our trainers can operate in a secure environment so we need capabilities to make sure that our trainers can operate," said the former Danish prime minister, who was appointed head of Nato in 2009.

Additionally, there will be further US forces remaining in Afghanistan under a bilateral "strategic partnership" deal struck between Washington and Kabul.