Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Beltway Bimbos


They're equally males and females.

For greater clarity, a "beltway bimbo" is defined, for the purposes of this rant, as a person with many qualifications, often from prestigious universities, whose major accomplishment is the obsequious defence of the powers-that-be, until such time as there are new powers.  In other words, a suck-up.

The defence will exude rationality, erudition, and a complete lack of critical thinking.

It's what they do.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Friday, May 17, 2013

Nigel Wright on House of Commons Night in Canada




















RON MACLEAN
Grapes, I know you're still in mourning for the Leafs....

DON CHERRY
I am....

RON MACLEAN
...and still conflicted about the outcome with Boston...

DON CHERRY
The wounds might heal over the summer, but I doubt it.

RON MACLEAN
But duty requires we return to the House of Commons and the extraordinary scenes that have happened there just before the playoffs.

DON CHERRY
Yeah, well it's hard to keep up.  Are we including the Senate in this?

RON MACLEAN
I think so.  I can't see there being an audience for Senate Night in Canada, but it is part of Parliament and both have been involved in the recent drama.

DON CHERRY
Which recent drama?

RON MACLEAN
Good point.  I'm talking about Nigel Wright, Harper's Chief of Staff, writing a cheque for $90K so Senator Mike Duffy can cover his improperly claimed expenses.

DON CHERRY
Yes. Hard to believe.  It takes me back to Alan Eagleson...

RON MACLEAN
How so?

DON CHERRY
Well, embezzling for one.  Fraud.

RON MACLEAN
How does that relate to Nigel Wright?

DON CHERRY
Money. Wright is cutting Duffy a cheque for $90K to cover his debt to the Senate at the same time he's Harper's Chief of Staff, and Duffy says he was sworn to a Code of Silence.

RON MACLEAN
Is that the same as The Code?

DON CHERRY
No, it's a different Code.

RON MACLEAN
...and not the Cone of Silence....

DON CHERRY
Sometimes I think you don't take your job seriously,,,

RON MACLEAN
By the way, who is Nigel Wright?

DON CHERRY
Well, now you've asked me a question.  He's a high flying finance guy who has zero experience in public office but a lot of experience in wheeling and dealing, which is how he made his money that allows him to be Chief of Staff at the PMO and pay Mike Duffy $90K for unspecified services like keeping his mouth shut, and how he became the second most powerful person in government after Harper.

RON MACLEAN
What's the PMO?

DON CHERRY
It's the Prime Minister's Office, an outfit that runs the country and gives orders to all Conservatives in the House of Commons and the Senate.

RON MACLEAN
And none of them are elected...

DON CHERRY
They wouldn't be effective if they were elected.

RON MACLEAN
So what's the problem with Duffy keeping his payment from Wright confidential.?

DON CHERRY
Are you kidding?  It's like Team Canada cuts Bill McCreary a cheque for $90K just before the Gold Medal game in Vancouver, and says it's to cover his expenses.

RON MACLEAN
You're not saying that's what happened.

DON CHERRY
Of course not!  If that had happened the world would have stopped and lighting bolts would have landed on Vancouver.  Now that I think of it....

RON MACLEAN
So what's the way out of this mess?

DON CHERRY
Truth. It's the only way out.  Somebody has to lay their body down.

RON MACLEAN
So that's it for tonight.  We'll be following events closely here on House of Commons Night in Canada.

DON CHERRY
We all have to hold tight to our beliefs.  Kids, if somebody offers you $90K to throw a game...well...just say no.

RON MACLEAN
If somebody offered you a Senate seat, would you take it?

DON CHERRY
That's a little different.  Can I sit next to Romeo Dallaire?

RON MACLEAN
It depends which side of the aisle you're on.

DON CHERRY
So now you're tormenting me with the Leafs and Boston.  I'm in crisis.  I have no idea what to wear...

Friday, May 10, 2013

"John Baird reaches out directly to Iranians..."



"You needn't worry about the Canadians, they’re just happy to be there.  Yes, well, they always look surprised when they’re invited."

Malcolm Rodgers

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Backbench Revolution on House of Commons Night in Canada


M-431 -- February 27, 2013 -- Mr. Trost (Saskatoon--Humboldt) -- That the Standing Committee on Procedure and House Affairs be instructed to: (a) consider the election of committee chairs by means of a preferential ballot system by all the Members of the House of Commons, at the beginning of each session and prior to the establishment of the membership of the standing committees; (b) study the practices of other Westminster-style Parliaments in relation to the election of Committee Chairs; (c) propose any necessary modifications to the Standing Orders and practices of the House; and (d) report its findings to the House no later than six months following the adoption of this order.
Pursuant to Standing Order 86(3), jointly seconded by:
Mr. Hsu (Kingston and the Islands) -- March 20, 2013
Mr. Benoit (Vegreville--Wainwright), Mr. Clarke (Desnethé--Missinippi--Churchill River), Mr. Goldring (Edmonton East), Mrs. Ambler (Mississauga South), Mr. Chong (Wellington--Halton Hills), Mr. Vellacott (Saskatoon--Wanuskewin), Mr. Bezan (Selkirk--Interlake), Mr. Bruinooge (Winnipeg South), Mr. Hiebert (South Surrey--White Rock--Cloverdale), Mr. Breitkreuz (Yorkton--Melville), Mr. Payne (Medicine Hat), Mr. Allen (Tobique--Mactaquac), Mr. Young (Oakville), Mr. Rathgeber (Edmonton--St. Albert), Ms. May (Saanich--Gulf Islands), Mr. Anderson (Cypress Hills--Grasslands) and Mr. Woodworth (Kitchener Centre) -- March 28, 2013
Mr. Stewart (Burnaby--Douglas) -- April 15, 2013


RON MACLEAN
On our last show, we were paying a lot of attention to a motion by Warawa to have his Member's Statement heard in the Commons...



DON CHERRY
...as is his right...

RON MACLEAN
...but the question arose as to whether party leaders, particularly government party leaders, had the discretion to vet statements Members wanted to make.

DON CHERRY
Exactly.  That was where the whole hockey team metaphor came into the discussion...

RON MACLEAN
Metaphor?

DON CHERRY
I knew you were gonna ask me that.  A metaphor is "a figure of speech in which a word or phrase is applied to an object or action to which it is not literally applicable."

RON MACLEAN
Where'd you get that?

DON CHERRY
Oxford English Dictionary.  I have one with me at all times, like every House of Commons fan.

RON MACLEAN
Right.  So let's leave that to one side and get to recent developments on the back benches of the House of Commons

DON CHERRY
Yeah, we already talked about Warawa, but it turns out there's something even more fundamental going on.  Turns out there's another motion that was filed by Brad Trost from Saskatoon, it's M-341, that proposes a change in the way committees are formed, so that all of the House and not just the leaders get to vote with a preferential system.

RON MACLEAN
That sounds radical.

DON CHERRY
Not as radical as Jim Balsillie trying to put an NHL team in Hamilton.

RON MACLEAN
What's radical about that?

DON CHERRY
He has the money, or he used to have the money, but he rubbed the establishment the wrong way.  There's nothing transparent about ownership in the NHL.

RON MACLEAN
So how does that apply to Trost's Motion?

DON CHERRY
I'm just saying it'd be an interesting development in British parliamentary democracy.  It might change the committees from being off camera talking points parrots and start making a real contribution to the legislation.

RON MACLEAN
How do you think that will sit with the Prime Minister?

DON CHERRY
Mr. Harper is like the NHL establishment at this stage, and he's used to getting his own way.  It's good to shake things up.  But a week ago the Speaker ruled on Warawa's appeal, and among other things said this:  I'll read it out for everybody...

RON MACLEAN
Please...

DON CHERRY
I also wish to address what seems to be a widespread misconception about the role of the Speaker in matters of this kind. Several members have used sports analogies to describe me as a referee or a league convener. Perhaps there are elements of a referee role for the Speaker, but with one important difference: there is no league that appoints the Speaker to enforce rules from on high in a vacuum. Instead, here in the House of Commons, the members elect a Speaker from among the membership to apply rules they themselves have devised and can amend. Thus, it is only with the active participation of the members themselves that the Speaker, who requires the support and goodwill of the House in order to carry out the duties of the office, can apply the rules.
   
 RON MACLEAN
Wow.  What does it mean?

DON CHERRY
It means British Parliamentary Democracy is in great shape and in its own way has The Code that started with the Magna Carta.

RON MACLEAN
What's with your suit?

DON CHERRY
It's the Magna Carta.  I had Fabricland make it up as a special.

RON MACLEAN
And were there women in the locker room at Runnymede?

DON CHERRY
You're a bad influence, you know that? You look all innocent and I'm the guy that gets booed on Twitter.  It's like playing in Montreal.

RON MACLEAN
It's my job.  Until next time on House of Commons Night in Canada...

DON CHERRY
You like my tie?

RON MACLEAN
It's weird.

DON CHERRY
Come on.  It's the Speaker's Chair in the British House of Commons.