Friday, May 17, 2013

Nigel Wright on House of Commons Night in Canada




















RON MACLEAN
Grapes, I know you're still in mourning for the Leafs....

DON CHERRY
I am....

RON MACLEAN
...and still conflicted about the outcome with Boston...

DON CHERRY
The wounds might heal over the summer, but I doubt it.

RON MACLEAN
But duty requires we return to the House of Commons and the extraordinary scenes that have happened there just before the playoffs.

DON CHERRY
Yeah, well it's hard to keep up.  Are we including the Senate in this?

RON MACLEAN
I think so.  I can't see there being an audience for Senate Night in Canada, but it is part of Parliament and both have been involved in the recent drama.

DON CHERRY
Which recent drama?

RON MACLEAN
Good point.  I'm talking about Nigel Wright, Harper's Chief of Staff, writing a cheque for $90K so Senator Mike Duffy can cover his improperly claimed expenses.

DON CHERRY
Yes. Hard to believe.  It takes me back to Alan Eagleson...

RON MACLEAN
How so?

DON CHERRY
Well, embezzling for one.  Fraud.

RON MACLEAN
How does that relate to Nigel Wright?

DON CHERRY
Money. Wright is cutting Duffy a cheque for $90K to cover his debt to the Senate at the same time he's Harper's Chief of Staff, and Duffy says he was sworn to a Code of Silence.

RON MACLEAN
Is that the same as The Code?

DON CHERRY
No, it's a different Code.

RON MACLEAN
...and not the Cone of Silence....

DON CHERRY
Sometimes I think you don't take your job seriously,,,

RON MACLEAN
By the way, who is Nigel Wright?

DON CHERRY
Well, now you've asked me a question.  He's a high flying finance guy who has zero experience in public office but a lot of experience in wheeling and dealing, which is how he made his money that allows him to be Chief of Staff at the PMO and pay Mike Duffy $90K for unspecified services like keeping his mouth shut, and how he became the second most powerful person in government after Harper.

RON MACLEAN
What's the PMO?

DON CHERRY
It's the Prime Minister's Office, an outfit that runs the country and gives orders to all Conservatives in the House of Commons and the Senate.

RON MACLEAN
And none of them are elected...

DON CHERRY
They wouldn't be effective if they were elected.

RON MACLEAN
So what's the problem with Duffy keeping his payment from Wright confidential.?

DON CHERRY
Are you kidding?  It's like Team Canada cuts Bill McCreary a cheque for $90K just before the Gold Medal game in Vancouver, and says it's to cover his expenses.

RON MACLEAN
You're not saying that's what happened.

DON CHERRY
Of course not!  If that had happened the world would have stopped and lighting bolts would have landed on Vancouver.  Now that I think of it....

RON MACLEAN
So what's the way out of this mess?

DON CHERRY
Truth. It's the only way out.  Somebody has to lay their body down.

RON MACLEAN
So that's it for tonight.  We'll be following events closely here on House of Commons Night in Canada.

DON CHERRY
We all have to hold tight to our beliefs.  Kids, if somebody offers you $90K to throw a game...well...just say no.

RON MACLEAN
If somebody offered you a Senate seat, would you take it?

DON CHERRY
That's a little different.  Can I sit next to Romeo Dallaire?

RON MACLEAN
It depends which side of the aisle you're on.

DON CHERRY
So now you're tormenting me with the Leafs and Boston.  I'm in crisis.  I have no idea what to wear...