Tuesday, January 26, 2010

The Case of the Serial Proroguer, Part 2

There were days I regretted becoming a constitutional lawyer. This was one of the nights. I stood hunched in the driving snow near the tradesmen's entrance at Rideau Hall. The Woman in Black told me to meet her there, I couldn't be seen coming in the front door. I had a cigar for warmth and a bottle of Chivas for company. It wasn't how I imagined it in law school.

The door opened, then closed. Some one in a seal skin coat stood next to me. I couldn't see her until she smiled, but when she did, the snow sublimated from my parka. I could hear the hiss.

I flicked my lighter and she lit up.

"It's dangerous for us to meet like this," she said.

"You're telling me. My eyelashes froze together until I poured Chivas on them."

"I think you're trying to impress me."

"I'm standing here waiting for you, freezing solid. What more do you want from me?"

"Results." She exhaled. "I heard The Weasel's gunning for me."

"Why wouldn't he be? He's taken out The Cop, The Scientist, and The Soldier, you're the obvious target."

She didn't like that.

"Who does he think he's dealing with?" she snapped, real venom for the first time.

"You mean, 'With whom does he think he's dealing?'"

"Don't give me that fancy lawyer talk...."

"Talk is what we've got unless you want to call out the Army....you ARE the Commander in Chief."

"That would be an unconstitutional exercise of the Royal Prerogative..."

"Look... who's the constitutional lawyer, you or me?"

"You're the one that's getting paid!"

"I've only got your word for that. I've put in three requisitions to the Treasury Board and all I've got in return is a letter telling me I'm being considered as part of Canada's Action! Plan."

"I'm paying you cash. Forget the Treasury Board."

"How can I, when Stockwell Day is flaunting his handbag?"

"I didn't think you'd fall for a pretty face."

"Look, I already have, it's late, and I'm cold. What do you want me to do?"

She paused.

"I want you to go to London," she said.

I was mystified. "What would I do there? They've got more snow than here."

"Not Ontario... England!"

The light started to dawn. She wanted me to take the Big Walk....

"I want you to appear before the Judicial Committee of the Privy Council, and tell them to take down The Weasel."

She couldn't be serious. For one thing, the Judicial Committee no longer had any power in Canada....or did it? She was after all, the Governor General. Maybe she'd been talking to....Her...

To be continued.....