Tuesday, May 17, 2011

House of Commons Night in Canada 41.0


RON MACLEAN
So it's me, Ron Maclean, here with Don Cherry on House of Commons Night in Canada. Don, tomorrow's a big day, Harper is announcing his new Cabinet in a majority government, what's your take on that?

DON CHERRY
Luongo's trying to kill me.

RON MACLEAN
You've been saying that for a couple of years but you're not dead.

DON CHERRY
He wouldn't still be trying if I was already dead.

RON MACLEAN
But I think we're getting ahead of ourselves to the San Jose/Vancouver matchup tomorrow night. Before that though, we have the new Cabinet starting line-up. What's your prediction?

DON CHERRY
I mean, it was a tape to tape pass, Luongo to Thornton. Who would believe such a thing if it wasn't to kill me?

RON MACLEAN
You seem pretty fixated on Luongo.

DON CHERRY
I can feel the hate.

RON MACLEAN
But if I can drag your attention for a moment back to Parliament, who do you think will be Harper's starters?

DON CHERRY
Well he's a bit short on Quebec players, even though he's got a majority, so I see Mad Max getting the call.

RON MACLEAN
That would be Maxime Bernier, former Minister of National Defence...

DON CHERRY
...until he got undressed in front of NATO...

RON MACLEAN
...and sent back to the minors. So do you see him back at Defence?

DON CHERRY
No, there'd be a riot in Brussels. I see him as Minister for Biker Affairs and Snowmobile Development.

RON MACLEAN
I didn't know we had one.

DON CHERRY
We don't. I got the idea from InfoAlerteBot.

RON MACLEAN
What's that?

DON CHERRY
I don't know, but it's well informed.

RON MACLEAN
So what's your call for Defence?

DON CHERRY
I think it'll be MacKay again. He looks good at NATO photo-­ops, and is smart enough to keep his mouth shut.

RON MACLEAN
Is that the job description for Defence Minister?

DON CHERRY
That and connections to German arms dealers.

RON MACLEAN
So maybe we should move along to Justice...

DON CHERRY
I'm going with "Honest Rob" Nicholson who's been in the job for 5 years despite not knowing about obstruction of justice.

RON MACLEAN
And Finance?

DON CHERRY
Flaherty.

RON MACLEAN
There's no new blood here...

DON CHERRY
So I'm going out on a limb and suggesting Chris Alexander for Foreign Affairs and International Trade.

RON MACLEAN
He's a rookie.

DON CHERRY
So was Dryden. Alexander's already proved himself in Afghanistan. He's just as delusional as anybody in NATO.

RON MACLEAN
So we'd better leave it there...

DON CHERRY
Did you see my camouflage suit?

RON MACLEAN
It was hard to miss.