Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Return of the Serial Proroguer

I was seated alone in the Strangers Bar in the Palace of Westminster, descending pleasantly into a haze of gin and tonic, when I was approached by a man of nondescript appearance.  He wore a sou'wester, sea boots, and an inflatable parrot.

"May I join you?" he asked persuasively.  I gestured to the seat next to me and smoothly ordered two more gins and tonics, lurching only slightly.

"Thank you," he said, "you are most kind. I am given to understand that you are concerned about the abuse of parliamentary democracy in Canada; in particular, the tendency of the current Prime Minister to prorogue parliament when he's about to be held to account."

"Who sent you?"

"I cannot reveal my sources, but I am permitted to refer to 'The Lady in Black'."

Her. Again.  It was She who had sent me on a desperate quest to the Judicial Committee of the Privy Council to ask that they order Stephen Harper sent in exile to St. Helena, or in the alternative, to order the digging of a moat around Rideau Hall, filled with Alberta superheavy crude set on fire, in order to forestall attempts to usurp the role of Governor General of Canada.  On the other hand, there was a new Governor-General who was a lawyer, who played hockey for Harvard, and who had a coveted role in Love Story. As an opening gambit it was incomprehensible.

To be continued...