Friday, December 11, 2009

Coach's Corner



Ron: And it’s time for coach’s corner …with …Don Cherry!

(Theme)

Ron: So, Don, does it get better than this? Here we are at the end of the Parliamentary Session, virtually a tie vote on a motion to compel the government to produce documents, 145-143, and we’re heading into sudden death overtime - quite possibly a constitutional crisis. Does it get better than this?

Don: You know, I’ve said it before: Canada is the best country in the world, and this just shows why. I’m not shy about saying this, I’ve always been a big fan of the game of parliamentary democracy in Canada, and what we’re seeing just proves it. I mean, a lot of attention goes to the Americans – and I like America, too, don’t get me wrong – I coached in Boston…

Ron: We know…

Don: Don’t get me started about that. Anyway, as much as I love the Americans, their politics are a snooze-fest. I mean, where’s the excitement? Congress votes haven’t changed for 40 years. Now they’ve got this new guy Obama, who’s pretty exciting to watch, but really, one guy doesn’t make a team, like I’ve said before.

Ron: OK, so let’s…by the way, that’s a pretty nifty tie you’re wearing.

Don: Thanks. It’s a silk screen print of the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms.

Ron: Did they make that up for you at Fabric Land?

Don: As a matter of fact they did. I hope you’re not saying anything negative about my friends at Fabric Land.

Ron: Of course not! And of course we know you have a discount card.

Don: Everybody should have one!

Ron: So while we’re on the subject of Fabric Land, did they make that suit for you as well?

Don: As a matter of fact they did.

Ron: The design is…well…indescribable. How did they find the fabric?

Don: I have to say I had a hand it that. What I did was, I got a couple dozen old Leafs practice sweaters, and the girls ran it up into a suit.

Ron: It’s certainly arresting…

Don: Thanks!

Ron: Like cardiac arrest…

Don: Next we’ll be discussing your prostate…

Ron: Let’s not go there…

Don: Don’t worry, I won’t.

Ron: Getting back to tonight’s sudden death overtime…

Don: What’s that got to do with your prostate?

Ron: What’s your take on the clutch players?

Don: Yeah, it’s the Battle of the Robs. First there’s Rob Nicholson. I know the knock on Nicholson is that’s he’s a Junior B lawyer from Niagara Falls who fell into the big leagues by accident. I don’t buy that. Nicholson got where he is by hard work and guts, something a lot of fancy pants players could learn from.

Ron: Is your suit fancy pants…?

Don: You know what I’m talking about! Nicholson is salt of the earth Canadian hockey, and when the going gets tough, he’ll be in there swinging.

Ron: But in the playoffs he was the Invisible Man. In the proceedings before the Canadian Military Police Complaints Commission, the Chair said..

"Unfortunately, the fallibility of this arrangement has been baldly exposed herein when, quite out of step with the normal situation wherein the principal challenge to oversight is what has often been referred to as the "blue wall," the government becomes the antagonist in the oversight piece as opposed to the police themselves.

In such circumstances, notwithstanding establishment and empowerment by Parliament, experience to date in this matter has demonstrated that when the government decides not to cooperate there is no equality of arms. Indeed, herein the essential cooperation of the government has become a much-distorted concept as discussed earlier in this decision, seemingly Kafkaesque."


Don: Who was Kafka? Wasn’t he a winger with the Czechs?

Ron: He was Hungarian.

Don: Same thing. These European guys show a lot of dazzle, a lot of finesse, good with words, but in the crunch….

Ron: So how about Rob Walsh?

Don: I like this guy! He’s not your star headliner, he’s a head-down worker who gets the job done. People might not have heard of him, but his opinion on the constitutional rights of Parliament should make anybody pay attention. Watch out for this guy in overtime!

Ron: So we'll leave it there for now. Stay tuned for edge-of-you-seat overtime playoff action.