Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Naked in Quantico

I think the United States Marine Corps is corrupt, as was suggested by Smedley Butler in 1931:

In China in 1927 I helped see to it that Standard Oil went its way unmolested....I had...a swell racket. I was rewarded with honours, medals, promotions...I might have given Al Capone a few hints. The best he could do was to operate a racket in three cities. The Marines operated on three continents.

Joel Bakan
The Corporation
Penguin Canada, 2004
pages 92-93

My understanding is that the original "shores of Tripoli" involved 8 Marines and 500 mercenaries. Plus ça change....

Nevertheless, in keeping Bradley Manning naked for his "safety" the Marines have hit on a solution to many of the world's major problems. All briefings should be conducted by spokespeople who are naked. I'm thinking here particularly of Geoff Morrell at the Pentagon. All meetings of the UN Security Council should be conducted by naked people. The President of the United States should be naked at all public appearances. The American Secretary of State should be naked at all public appearances. People should fly naked (see how simple that makes security?).

You see how this works: the more prestigious the occasion, the more reason for the main actors to be naked: the IMF, the World Bank, the Federal Reserve, the Politburo...the list goes on. Vladmir Putin is half the way there.

My dream is to see the American Joint Chiefs of Staff naked in a pyramid like Abu Ghraib. The Chairman, Mike Mullen, would of course be on top. He likes it that way.