Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Hell in Brussels, Part 3

From the war diary of Lieutenant General Charles Bouchard

March x, 20xx, 04:30 Awakened by batman with message from Ottawa, Toppest Secret. Decoded message reads "Speak to nobody."

March x, 20xx, 04:45 Asked batman for coffee, using crude sign language.

March x, 20xx, 06:00 Message from DND HQ, Ottawa: "You're in charge of Libya."

March x, 20xx, 06:15 Trappist monk-like silence inhibiting. Questions richochet around my brain: Is Libya part of NATO? Can't speak.

March x, 20xx, 08:00 Press conference. Difficult to conduct since ordered not to speak to reporters.

March x, 2011, 08:01 Message from Supreme Commander, NATOHQFLATULENCE: The United States is unavailable.

March x, 2011, 08:15 NATO strike fighters await assignments, except for the Germans, and also the French.

March x, 20xx, 08:30 Retire to bunker. Otherwise might influence Canadian general election.

April 1, 20xx 08:00 UN Security Council calls, put on hold.