Wednesday, April 27, 2011

House of Commons Night in Canada 2011.1



RON MACLEAN
So it's me, Ron MacLean, here with Don Cherry on House of Commons Night in Canada. Don, we're into the home stretch, and there's unprecedented interest in the final. What's your take on that?

DON CHERRY
I still think Luongo's out to kill me...

RON MACLEAN
You were saying that last year.

DON CHERRY
...and I'm trying not to take it personally.

RON MACLEAN
That would be Roberto Luongo of the Vancouver Canucks...

DON CHERRY
Is there another Luongo?

RON MACLEAN
Yeah, his dad, but what we're talking about is the Canadian Federal Election on May 2, 2011

DON CHERRY
Luongo's dad must be superhuman, in an asylum, or dead. I can't imagine a normal human being surviving the last two years of Canadian hockey if his kid was Canada's clutch goaltender.

RON MACLEAN
The fact remains that Roberto Luongo isn't running for Parliament in the election...

DON CHERRY
He doesn't have time.

RON MACLEAN
...but other people are, and in particular Jack Layton who's making an underdog playoff push.

DON CHERRY
Who said Layton was an underdog? I like his guts, and his suits are better than all the other guys.

RON MACLEAN
What about Elizabeth May?

DON CHERRY
What about her? She doesn't wear suits.

RON MACLEAN
How would you know?

DON CHERRY
Fair comment. I've never seen her wearing a suit.

RON MACLEAN
And you've never seen Jack Layton in his underwear.

DON CHERRY
How would you know?

RON MACLEAN
Fair comment. I've never seen you with Jack Layton in his underwear.

DON CHERRY
I'm not sure this conversation is heading in the right direction.

RON MACLEAN
What's your prediction for the Federal Election?

DON CHERRY
Over 2 million people voted in the advance poll. I think a lot more will vote on May 2.

RON MACLEAN
That seems pretty safe. Who do you think will form the government?

DON CHERRY
The Governor-General. It's her call.

RON MACLEAN
Don, I hate to break it to you, but there's been a change in the G-G.

DON CHERRY
Oh, yeah, that's right. Now we've got a constitutional lawyer who played hockey for Harvard.

RON MACLEAN
You don't seem enthusiastic.

DON CHERRY
I know I'll get shot for saying this but I'm more enthusiastic about cute babes from Haiti.

RON MACLEAN
You won't get shot, but you might get fired.

DON CHERRY
They can't fire me, there'd be a revolt.

RON MACLEAN
So that's it from us here at House of Commons Night in Canada...

DON CHERRY
I'm trying to imagine the headlines..."Grapes shot at dawn. Refuses blindfold."

RON MACLEAN
Maybe they'd just shoot you with Laura Secord chocolates.

DON CHERRY
Worse than blood stains.

RON MACLEAN
On your suits nobody will notice.