Sunday, December 5, 2010

WikiLeaks reveals target that could cripple US oil supply


The highly controversial website, WikiLinks, and its reclusive, eccentric, anti-American, sex-crazed founder, Julian Assange, may have finally gone too far. Tonight, via the New York Times, it revealed a secret American diplomatic cable describing in detail a target that, if attacked with any competence at all, could cripple the USA almost overnight: The Strait of Hormuz. We haven't actually read the cable, because that would be treason, but we've heard enough about it to know that terrible consequences will surely follow.

“It’s absolutely appalling,” said Michael O’Hanlon of the totally responsible Brookings Institution. “Even I didn’t know about the Strait of Hormuz. You can imagine the inevitable damage when evil-doers get hold of it. Assange has oil on his hands.”

This view was echoed by the reasonable and properly educated Marc Thiessen: “Now everybody knows about the Strait of Hormuz. I can’t imagine a more highly classified piece of information. Anybody can just, you know, look it up on Google Maps, or get the Admiralty Chart from 1804 at the British Museum or something. This is a gift to Tehran, who until now probably wasn’t even aware of the Strait of Hormuz, or that oil tankers passed through it. And now we find out Iran has its own enriched uranium. Forget the missiles. All they have to do is truck a primitive nuclear weapon down to Bandar e Lengeh, and pow! – say good-bye to the world economy."

Bill Kristol’s view was more passionate. His words were difficult to make out on account of his foaming at the mouth, but his solution to Assange’s treachery was simple: “Nuke Britain! Fuck ‘em! What have they ever done for us? The Balfour Declaration? Give me a break.”

Whatever Julian Assange might imagine his mission, he will now know that the noose is tightening… hang on a tic while I get the phone. There’s a document dump where? Of what? Good God! And The Telegraph is mentioned how?